Dreams be messed up

January 28, 2009

So I’ve not been sleeping well at all. The reason for that is a recurring dream almost every night that I started having a couple of weeks after I came back from Brisbane. Firstly I have to say that I have absolutely no fear of flying. I love being on an airplane. Especially during take off and landing. But thats something else.

Anyway, my dreams start off at an airport. I have no idea what airport I’m at. I see the people who I know right now I’m hanging out pretty cool, having a chat and waiting for our boarding call. I look around and look at the other passengers when I realise all the other passengers are people I used to know or have met. Turns out I was pretty well off (somehow) and had paid for a trip to a surprise location. However people seemed to be extremely uncomfortable when I start talking to them. I remember feeling extremely confused as some people were extremely stand-offish and I couldn’t remember whether it was because I had done something to make them feel that way.

So the boarding call is announced and all of a sudden everything went quiet and everyone became still. I was confused. Lost. Suddenly, everyone started to move again to line line up in front of ticket counter. Their eyes just stared ahead. I was beginning to panic and started trying too ask people why they were being like that. They didn’t react to anything I did. I even punched someone in the face and they just stood back up unfazed, and got back in line staring ahead. The people checking the tickets however were all smiles and cheerfulness as though there was nothing wrong. The people in the que were eyes front and almost marching through the ticket counter.

All of a sudden I realise that I was yelling at the last person in line. However she does exactly as the others did before her. It’s my turn now and the ticket woman asks for my tickets. I yell and scream at her, but all she does is repeat the same thing “Tickets please, have a nice flight” over and over again. I yell louder. In a real world situation I’m sure she would have called security. I beg her to call security but she continues to repeat herself.

Deep inside, I know I shouldn’t board the plane, but the idea of leaving everyone on the plane and not finding out what was going on was not an option. I give the ticket woman my ticket and proceed through the boarding tunnel. I look out the windows of the boarding tunnel and there is no one outside. No trucks ferrying around luggage. No engineers performing final checks on the aircraft. No other aircrafts at all.

I find my seat on the plane, and everyone is back to their usual selves, except the mixture of fear/disgust permeates everyone of their actions when I try and talk to them. The seatbelt sign lights up and the pilot announces the takeoff. Everyone reverts back to their eyes front and silent mode. My unease increases as the plane speeds up, the nose of the plane aims towards the sun and I watch the ground beneath me move further and further away. The plane flies through clouds and I lose sight of the ground completely. I feel completely and utterly useless and a sense of foreboding grows.

Lightning strikes outside the aircraft. Turbulance increases and the plane begins to shake. The pilot announces nonchalantly that this is normal and all is well. Everyone is still in their emotionless face. Lightning strikes the plane and the plane begins to fall. The air supply units drop from the ceiling. I am halfway through frantically putting them on before I notice no one else is trying to put them on. I try and put on the air supply thing on the person next to me and the person next to them, but I can’t reach the person. I take of my air breather and seatbelt and move to try and put theirs on for them. It is difficult as the plane is shaking but I manage to do it. I move on to the next set of seats and do the same. Every single person on that plane has no reaction.

Another lighting strike and the plane drops further. I fall to the floor. I scramble towards the cockpit and open the door. The pilots do not have their hands on the stick. They are like everyone else on the plane, emotionless and staring forwards. I try to wake them up, yelling and hitting, it is useless. I try the radio, and I am replied with the hiss of static. We break through the cloud barrier and the deep blue ocean begins to rise towards me. I yell into the announcement phone to brace. And while I do this I turn to look back to the passenger section of the plane. No one is reacting, no one moves. I yell and I yell and I yell until my voice is hoarse. This is the loneliest and longest moment of my life. The plane begins to dip further and further. I grab the stick and try to pull the plane up. It is no use. The plane begins to bank right and the blueness of the ocean fills the right hand window. It gets closer and closer and I keep yelling and yelling.

Just as the plane is about to hit the water, I wake up.

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So today is the last day of my holidays. Tomorrow I will be back at work, where things are as uncertain as ever, and where I’m sure my stress levels will begin to rise again. But aside from that, I’m honestly looking forward to what this year at work will bring. As they always say, when life gives you lemons, jam the lemons in the eyes of your enemies!

So thinking back about this whole time over the holidays, I don’t think I’ve ever felt bored. Which is pretty awesome. I remember when I was back in highschool and on holidays and parts of uni holidays where I would be completely bored out of my skull. Bearing in mind that I was pretty poor then, so I couldn’t go out and buy things that I wanted or work on my hobbies. But then I would remember that there are other things to do, like play the piano, go for a walk, go for a swim etc etc. The options were there. I suppose thats why I enjoyed my Christmas/New Year break so much this time. Not only because I essentially had a month off (which I think I needed pretty badly), but because I was able to spend time with the people I enjoyed spending my time with. However at the same time I got the space that I need for me to be comfortable. And I can’t honestly remember whether I felt bored at any time during this period.

The lan was awesome! Got heaps of new stuff, made an ass out of myself in front of a girl (as per usual) and played games with the fellas. Highlight of the lan? I’d have to say my new computer (Big shout out to Mikky G! BTW grats on the JB job dude!!)

So I’m also looking forward to the weekend already, also for Australia Day so I can listen to the Hottest 100.

In summary: Holidays rocked the shit!

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